Watcher of Weasels:

Koranapalooza 2005

So, after having to listen to the mainstream media pushing the "Koran abuse" story for weeks on end, it turns out that the Gitmo detainess are doing a fine job of desecrating their own holy books...  they have been using them as pillows, ripping them up, putting them into toilets, and pissing on them.  Yeah, you heard that right...  it wasn't the guards who tried to flush the Koran, it was the detainees.  Not that I expect that bit of information to stop hoardes of Muslims from stampeding each other to death every time this false allegation gets repeated, while turning a blind eye to the real atrocities committed in the name of their precious Koran, including the bombing of Mosques.

And what have the guards done?  Someone may have intentionally kicked a Koran, which was apparently so highly regarded that it had been left lying on the floor.  Someone else made the mistake of pissing into the wind, which blew some urine through a vent and defiled a Koran...  as disgusting as that may be, it was not intentional, and hardly compares to what some of the detainees have done to their own Korans with their own bodily fluids.  Oh, and some knuckleheads got into a water balloon fight that ended up splashing water on some Korans...  oh the humanity!  I'm tired of having to hear complaints about this kind of stupid shit.  The reason we know about this stuff is because the military investigates the hell out of these incidents...  even in cases of mere negligence, the guards involved in such incidents are being punished.

Why should we get all the blame and none of the fun?  Someone should put together a non-profit organization that purchases Korans (from Bellwether Books) for the sole purpose of burning them in a big bonfire...  it could be a yearly festival, sort of like an answer to Burning Man.  How many Muslim fanatics would keel over dead at such a sight?  Of course, I realize that such a thing could never happen, because Chimperor George W. Palpatine (Darth Sipidus) would execute Order 66 at the first sign of trouble...  and an army of ATF agents and Delta Force commandos (all cloned via stem cells harvested from illegal aliens) would swarm the place and kill every man, woman, and child in sight.

Stupid hippies can burn all the flags and Bibles they want to and call it freedom of speech, but we all know that anyone trying the same thing with a Koran would immediately be charged with crimes against humanity and crucified by the Anti-American Communist Litigation Union.